The Aware
Parenting Institute
www.awareparenting.com

Transforming families around the world

P.O. Box 206, Goleta, CA 93116, U.S.A.
(805) 968-1868 (phone and fax)
e-mail: info@awareparenting.com

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Comments to the Aware Parenting Institute

Comments received in 2011 by email and on our Facebook page

(The most recent comments are at the bottom of the page)

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We welcome your comments about Aware Parenting and this web site. We reserve the right to post anything you write to us on our page of comments, and to edit it as needed. Please give us your name, city and country. This is an archived page. Please see our current comments page.

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Please note that this is not a personal advice column. If you are a parent in need of advice or support, please visit our Parent Support Page or schedule a telephone consultation with Dr. Solter. Click here for more information about her consultations.

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April 2, 2011

Comment to the Aware Parenting Facebook page:

I just got done reading Helping Young Children Flourish. I found it very helpful and encouraging. It answered all of my questions concerning Unconditional Parenting/Aware Parenting, and I feel like we are already reaping the benefits with our 2-year-old son!

L.M.


April 3, 2011

Comment to the Aware Parenting Facebook page:

I am a child protection social worker in Canada. I recently attended two days of workshops with Aletha. Not only am I preaching her words of wisdom to all my clients who struggle with parenting, but I have changed my own parenting style. No more punishments or rewards for my kids....just love, patience, guidance and understanding. Thank you Aletha! I am recommending your books to everyone I meet (clients, public health nurses, child and youth mental health workers, colleagues, family and friends)

J.J.


May 3, 2011

Comment to the Aware Parenting Facebook page:

Note: This was a comment about the following parenting tip from Aletha Solter: "Good parenting does not come naturally. What comes naturally is to repeat what our parents did to us (whether helpful or harmful)."

I agree so much with this. I am a wonderful mother now... But it was not a natural transition. I did not have good modeling as a child and had no interaction with children or infants. I am embarrassed now about some of my beliefs that I shared before I had children. The Aware Baby was a godsend for me. I love telling the story of being in Borders in a panic, and your book literally fell off the book shelf above my head and hit me in the head. I read the first three pages and knew this was the book for me. I recommend the book to people all the time and have it returned with gifts and huge thank you.

D.D.


May 10, 2011

Comment to the Aware Parenting Facebook page:

Note: This was a comment in reply to Aletha Solter's new article, The crying-in-arms approach for helping babies sleep through the night.

We can attest to this method. Our baby is still quite young (only 5 months,) so he isn't sleeping through the night, but when we give him the opportunity to cry in our arms before bed, he almost always sleeps better. Interestingly, he really cries better with me than with his mom, and Aletha's book pinpoints why this is: my wife's presence alone is enough to soothe him because of the association with nursing.

J.R.


May 16, 2011

Comment received by email:

Hello! I came across your website while googling Cry It Out (CIO). Our daughter is almost 2 years old, and we did not use CIO with her as an infant. I have just been researching the effects of CIO lately out of curiosity. It is very interesting to read your description of babies who were held while they cried. My daughter began sleeping through the night pretty consistently by 4 months, but there were some very long nights before that point. We held her while she cried. At first I was frustrated that I could not always comfort her. I thought I must be doing something wrong. Then I resigned myself to the fact that babies cry, and I began to feel more at peace with her. After meeting her basic needs, I figured all I could do was be there for her. I did not want her to cry alone. She did have a traumatic birth with several major heart rate dips, and finally had to be extracted with the vacuum. Now as a toddler, she is so gentle and easy-going. She does not hit or bite other children (or us). She is friendly and shares freely with others. We had no long-term agenda when we held her while she cried, but it is neat to read your descriptions of babies who were held while crying and see how closely they reflect her current disposition.

Dana
New Mexico, U.S.

Note: For information about the Aware Parenting approach to sleep, please see the following articles: The crying-in-arms approach for helping babies sleep through the night, Crying for comfort: distressed babies need to be held, and What to do when your baby cries.


June 5, 2011

Comment received by email:

I just read your article about the necessity of babies to cry their pain out. I am sure this will bring about more sanity for human beings.

I am just wondering why the world has not listened to Dr. Arthur Janov when he spoke about this approximately 45 years ago, and ever since, in all of his 16 books to date...

Dr. Arthur Janov has developed a therapy wherein a patient can feel safe to let go and cry, even for many years. Also, anger and other painful emotions can be expressed in a safe environment, such as the Primal Center in Santa Monica, California...  His therapy has helped thousands of people. It is neither a cult, nor some crazy, new-age fad.  Dr. Janov is a scientist, first and foremost. His blog is at arthurjanov.com.

As you correctly state, pain can be laid down before birth, during the birth process, and after birth. Those pains are what Dr. Janov calls Imprints. They will stay in the body for a lifetime if not felt and expressed through the appropriate emotions...

In 1980, when I started my therapy there, I was a screaming neurotic. Totally confused, at times extremely angry, depressed, diagnosed as bi-polar. I was on heavy drugs such as Valproic Acid, and also Prozac. I was severely suppressed and beaten as a child, neglected, and abused in every way. At the Primal Institute, I cried rivers of tears, and often still do. I expressed such indescribably explosive anger. I was gently encouraged and allowed to connect with my feelings in a safe environment. Simply stated, it cured me...

Keep up the good work... The world is severely lacking in a sane approach to the ills of humans, from a fetus onwards to adulthood.

With respect,

Patrick Van Niekerk
Johannesburg, South Africa

Articles by Aletha Solter about babies and crying:
What to do when your baby cries
Crying for comfort: distressed babies need to be held
The crying-in-arms approach for helping babies sleep through the night
Interview with Aletha Solter on crying and high-need infants
Interview with Aletha Solter: How can we respond to babies' emotions?


June 26, 2011

Comment to the Aware Parenting Facebook page:

I attended Aletha Solter's talk in Byron Bay just after my last baby was born nearly six years ago. My five-year-old daughter still appreciates being able to have a cry in my arms when she feels bad. The Aware Baby is one of my top ten books which are a must read before your baby is born!

Hug-a-Bub
Australia


August 11, 2011

Comment to the Aware Parenting Facebook page:

Hi. Great to find your wonderful site on the internet. I am sure I can add some additional skills to my practice.

J.G.
Child Psychotherapist and Behavioural Therapist, UK.
Now living and working for free in Mauritius


August 28, 2011

Comment to the Aware Parenting Facebook page:

Thank you, thank you, thank you! I have just read The Aware Baby and it's a life-changer.

S.B.
Australia


October 18, 2011

Comment received by email:

You don't know me obviously, and we will most likely never meet, but I felt compelled to reach out and write to you. Somewhere on Facebook your name came up, and I found your website and began to read about your work... I feel like I've known you all my life!... As time permits I will delve into your work, because without any hesitation, I know you're writing the truth that needs to be in the brains and hearts of young mothers...

Pat Vestevich
Petoskey, Michigan, U.S.


October 24, 2011

Comment to the Aware Parenting Facebook page:

Thank you Aletha. Aware Parenting has helped us by leaps and bounds. Our daughter is so alert, curious and happy, and presently in a blissful deep sleep after an awesome cry in my arms.

B.N.


December 5, 2011

Comment to the Aware Parenting Facebook page:

I just found your website and I must say it almost caused me to cry from pure happiness when reading your articles. It was just what I needed to read in regards to my 10-month-old! Thank you!

B.J.


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