The Aware
Parenting Institute

Transforming families around the world

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Comments to the Aware Parenting Institute

Comments received in 2014 by email and on our Facebook page

(The most recent comments are at the bottom of the page)

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We welcome your comments about Aware Parenting and this web site. We reserve the right to post anything you write to us on our page of comments, and to edit it as needed. Please give us your name, city and country.

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Please note that this is not a personal advice column. If you are a parent in need of advice or support, please visit our Parent Support Page or schedule a telephone consultation with Dr. Solter. Click here for more information about her consultations.


January 13, 2014

Comment received by email:

I am reading your book, The Aware Baby (Warum Babys weinen in German), and I'm following your advice with my two-month-old son. Ever since I have been allowing him to cry in my arms, he feels much better, he's calmer, happier, and he sleeps longer and more deeply. He is really relaxed afterwards.

Many thanks for your wonderful book!

a mother in Nürnberg, Germany

February 18, 2014

Comments to the Aware Parenting Facebook page in reply to the question: What's your favorite aspect of Aware Parenting? What has been most helpful to you?:

orange ball Allowing the baby and child to cry in arms.

orange ball Remove praise and rewards in the discipline of my child. It seemed right not to use punishments. So the surprise was that rewards also damage the relationship and the inner motivation, and they do not give kids space to grow in a healthy and supportive way.

orange ball Crying in arms, listening.

orange ball Parenting without rewards or punishments and fully accepting feelings. Understanding the therapeutic value of crying is a life-changing paradigm shift!

orange ball The fact that crying often does not mean "mommy do something" but "mommy listen to me."

orange ball All of it!

orange ball I was fortunate enough to have been recommended The Aware Baby. in the early part of our parenting journey. Then I went on to read all the rest. It was a complete paradigm shift that has changed both my and my husband's lives. We now are parenting two very calm and even-keeled little boys under 5 who knows that they can cry in our arm (or our arms' reach) for as long as they want. The older one would sometimes tell us that he is not finished crying yet, and that would be music to our ears. So thankful for your insight.

orange ball Insight in how misbehavior arises arises, and therefore insight in how to prevent it, recognize it, and change it!

orange ball Connection. Connection. Connection.

orange ball Play, laughter, joy, awareness, unconditionality and acceptance for everyone in the family, release and healing: all to deepen the love and connection of my relationship with my beautiful kids. Aware Parenting is life changing and extraordinary!

orange ball Remembering how vital it is to have regular empathy chats. Understanding how our emotions work and how important connection is.

orange ball The emphasis on attachment, relation, contact, and emotional release. The whole concept of the "broken cookie phenomenon" is also very helpful in dealing with strong emotions.

orange ball I'm a big fan of the democratic approach to discipline!

orange ball The bonding and deep trust in each other that comes through the crying-in-arms listening process, which respects the child as a full human being.

orange ball The importance of dealing with your own emtions and the way you were parented. Giving your children the skills to deal with what life throws, hopefully more successfully than mommy! Celebrating the joys and sorrows together. And so much more.

April 8, 2014

Comment received by email:

Thank you so much for the article on crying in arms before sleep. (The crying-in-arms approach for helping babies sleep through the night) It has changed my life! My 8-month-old bedsharing breastfed baby was exactly the baby you described: waking frequently all night long crying and needing to nurse to get back to sleep. It has only been two days, but she is a completely different baby. She falls asleep easily, sleeps soundly, and wakes infrequently to feed. I can't thank you enough!

Melbourne, Australia

September 16, 2014

Comment received by email:

Last month I read your book, Tears and Tantrums, and most of the articles on the Aware Parenting website. The impact this has had on my life is greater than I could have ever imagined. Reading your book has helped me understand the importance of crying in a loving and caring environment. Being in my last month of pregnancy, I have had several good cries in the arms of my great husband. It's wonderful to let go of all suppressing thoughts and to cry without any logical reason, beyond the usual social boundaries. Having experienced the benefits of your approach will undoubtedly help me to raise my children according to the principles of Aware Parenting. I want to thank you for sharing the research and your ideas. I believe they can change lives for the better. They already have!


Antwerp, Belgium

October 16, 2014

Comment received by email:

I'm so thankful for your books! I can say that they have made a big change in my life! I'm the mother of two beautiful childeren. We have a daughter (2,5 years) and a son (9 months). He was crying a lot at night, and everything in me told me that I should not let him cry alone. My heart could not handle that. Your books gave words to my feeling. It set something free inside me, and now I want to share this with the whole world! All these people, children and adults, who have the conviction that they deserve love from others only when they are happy, because there was no attention for their real feelings. They did not receive attention for the person they really are. It's about accepting, loving, respecting, listening...

Utrecht, The Netherlands

October 23, 2014

Comment received at Facebook:

As a child protection social worker, I absolutely preach about democratic parenting. I recommend your books to everyone I come across. I am your biggest fan! Love you.

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