Consultations with Aletha Solter, Ph.D.


photo of Dr. Solter

Aletha Solter is a developmental psychologist who is recognized internationally as an expert on attachment, trauma, and non-punitive discipline. Her five books have been translated into many languages, and she has led workshops for parents and professionals in 17 countries.

Dr. Solter offers private consultations (in English or French), for people who have read at least one of her books or attended one of her workshops. (It is necessary for people to understand and agree with the basic Aware Parenting approach.) She teaches parents how to interact with their children in ways that can enhance the children's development, and how to solve typical behavior problems. Her consultations and workshops are purely educational. She does not diagnose children or conduct therapy with either children or adults.

Please note that she does not answer personal questions by e-mail because Aware Parenting does not consist of quick, simple answers. Sometimes the key to solving a problem lies in something that parents are not initially aware of. When she talks with parents, she is often able to get at the root of a problem and make helpful suggestions. This is impossible to do by e-mail.


Consultations for parents without children present
(telephone, Skype, Zoom, or in person)

Consultations can include any of the following topics concerning children from birth through adolescence. If you wish to discuss more than one child, please schedule a separate consultation for each one. Hourly fee: USD $80 or EUR 80.


Parent/child play sessions with a child from one through eight years
(in person only)

Consultations for parents with children present take the form of facilitating unique forms of parent/child play (Attachment Play), which can help to resolve behavior problems while also enhancing bonding and emotional development. If you wish to bring your child for a parent/child play session, please schedule a preliminary consultation without your child. After that first session, Dr. Solter will design a parent/child play session that best meets the needs of your family. Please allow up to one-and-a-half hours for a play session. The fee for a play session is $130. This fee includes a half-hour follow-up telephone consultation.

Click here for a printable flyer about Dr. Solter's parent/child play sessions.


How to schedule a consultation

If you would like to schedule a consultation with Dr. Solter, please contact her at If you are in the U.S. you can also leave a telephone message at 805-968-1868. Please indicate when you can be reached. She does not return telephone calls to foreign countries. When you contact her, please provide the following information:

(Videoconference sessions by Skype or Zoom are for parents only (no children). Also, she is not currently scheduling in-person consultations because of the coronavirus situation, but she is available for consultations by telephone, Skype, or Zoom.)

After receiving this information, Dr. Solter will offer you a few appointment times to choose from. She is usually able to schedule appointments within one to two weeks (unless she is on a workshop tour). If you have not read any of Dr. Solter's books or attended any of her workshops, please read at least one of her books before scheduling a consultation with her.

After you have a definite appointment day and time, she will e-mail you a pre-consultation questionnaire to fill out before your consultation. This questionnaire requests information about your child, beginning at conception. This information will help Dr. Solter understand your child and your family situation. The questionnaire is free and available upon request (please specify English or French.) Dr. Solter requests that you fill it out and return it to her by e-mail at least 24 hours before your consultation. Your answers are confidential and will be seen only by her.


Summary of Fees

Payment is due after your consultation. Please inquire about payment methods. Note: These fees do not include any follow-up advice.


Other sources of support

Please visit our Parent Support Page to learn about other sources of support for Aware Parenting.


Testimonials from Dr. Solter's clients

Here is a sample of the many thank you notes and testimonials received by Aletha Solter.

"Thank you for the consultation. I had thought that our baby didn't like to be held, but I cradled him in my arms and looked into his eyes and stroked him and spoke loving words to him, and he took his thumb out of his mouth and cried. They felt like tears of relief to me. Then he smiled at me and fell asleep in my arms. I am relieved, too, to have found a way to support him to express his feelings. He seems happier now. And even more significant is that, after two nights, he has gone from waking five times during the night to just once. We are jumping for joy! Keep up the good work. Thanks again."
—Father of a 4-month-old boy who sucked his thumb and didn't want to be held

"I have been meaning to write to you for the longest time. I wanted to tell you THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart... I am SO relieved that she is now napping twice a day. The first nap is usually only 30 minutes, but in the afternoon, she sleeps for over an hour. For us, this is a dramatic improvement."
—Mother of an 8-month-old girl who resisted taking naps during the day

"Thank you for the consultation. It helped tremendously!"
—Mother of a one-year-old girl who woke up 10 to 20 times per night

"I don't know how we would have been able to help our daughter transition to having a sister without your help. Thank you for helping us to be compassionate, thoughtful, and aware parents."
—Parents of a 2-year-old girl with a baby sister

"The consultation was very helpful. We have particularly enjoyed your suggestion to playfully pretend to argue over whose turn it is to be with her. She beams when we play this game. She is now requesting it and sets up little scenarios for us to enact."
—Parents of a 4-year-old girl who was showing signs of stress, disconnection, and anger

"Thank you so much for your time and wisdom. Our situation has already improved."
—Parents of a 6-year-old boy with aggressive behavior (hitting, pinching, kicking, biting)

"Your consultation put the light on a big part of what we were missing with our son. Now we can see how the journey should go. I was wondering how he could do more healing, and it was right under my nose, so to speak, the whole time. It was good to talk to a professional who understands. That was therapy for me."
—Mother of an 8-year-old boy who had been traumatized

"Thank you so much for your immensely helpful support over these many years! It is so helpful and comforting to know that I have you to call when I need advice!"
—Mother of an 11-year-old, highly sensitive girl

"Thank you for your support and excellent thinking over the years! You have made a great difference in our understanding of parenting, and therefore, in our lives."
—Mother of an 11-year-old girl who was adopted at birth

"My session with you was the best eighty dollars I've spent all year! I told my husband everything you said. It was all so reassuring and supportive. I actually feel a shift in my relationship with my son, just knowing that a lot of his behavior is normal."
—Mother of a 12-year-old boy


This page was last updated on August 13, 2021. Copyright © 1996 to 2021 by The Aware Parenting Institute. All rights reserved. No part of this web site may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical (including copying to other web sites, and including translations and photos), without written permission from Aletha Solter.